Wednesday, August 31, 2011

About the DCU reboot.

If you're a fan of comics, and you're probably not, then you would know that DC comics are completely re-booting their stories. Plots, histories, characters and everything else is being re-done just so they can get some extra scratch.
Recently they released their first comic in their new universe; the new Justice League comic.

So. Here's basically how the first comic went.

Batman: "I am Batman."
Green Lantern: "I automatically think I am superior to you."
Batman: "I dislike your methods. Let's go visit Superman because of the plot."
Green Lantern: "I still think you are a wimp. Oh look, it's Superman."
Batman: "I am Batman."

Other things happened in between.

Friday, August 26, 2011


I don't really go here much.
Keep in touch with my thigns that I do:

A recent look at what I do:
I'm on a Sandstorm kick.

Friday, August 5, 2011

He does a few things similar to spiders.

Well, there you go. The first trailer for the new Spider-Man movie has gone live. I'm not too impressed by it, even though I love Spider-Man. Though, personally, I hardly ever read the comics. Maybe... twice. I've played the games, watched the cartoons, and saw the first three movies with Toby McGuire. Also, the toys. So many toys when I was a kid.

Now, back to the preview. Hmm... well, there is more focus on his past. The whole Parker-parents thing doesn't seem very suitable for the origin story. Although, I guess it will be necessary for him to develop his web fluid. The fluid is based off a scientific design Parker is able to complete after he gets his spider-powers. Probably because spiders have a natural instinct for creating their own web. Though, the more you think about it, the less sense it makes.

Then Gwen Stacy. Hot. Approved.

Then comes the parkour thing. It looks a lot like the Mirror's Edge game. The special effects producer must have played it recently with his kids.

The Peter Parker character seems a bit too cliche'- nerdy, though maybe he is where the cliche' comes from.
Bla bla bla.
I need more beer. Peace.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Captain America: The First Badass.

Well, the next Summer blockbuster is up.
God, how does that not look awesome?

Short version of the review: I recommend it. Long version of the review: Below.

If you saw Ironman 1&2 and Thor, I would recommend you see this. If you plan on seeing the Avengers film next year, you have no goddamn reason to skip this movie. Otherwise you are missing the point itself. In fact, a piece of the major plot revolves around the very-shiny-and-mysterious cuboid seen in the post-credits scene of Thor. 
Yeah, that thing. The Cosmic Cube. Have they flat-out said what this thing can do? I don't think the Captain America movie even knew what it was all about. 

Now, time to prod this movie with a mocking stick. Also, look out for some spoilers below. I won't be descrete about this. The movie starts with Steve Rogers doing his thing; trying to fight for his US of the America. Some character exposition happens, some more things, and then we are introduced to his best-friend-and-eventually-sidekickish friend Bucky. Sorry girls, he doesn't wear a domino mask in this movie and he isn't 14. More character exposition happens, bla bla bla, just sit back and enjoy.

Then comes the super soldier treatment. In every commercial I have seen for this movie up until it's opening, we see Rogers actually grow inside the giant metal taning bed, which was a really nice touch. It showed progression into the man he would become. Instead, we get blinding light and then he steps out all big-blonge-and-beautiful. Mm. 

Small thing that bothered me: they said that they were going to apply some serum to all of his major muscle groups. Then they only apply it to his biceps. Why didn't he walk out looking like a Tank from Left 4 Dead? A major hulk above the waist, and a tiny scarecrow of a man below. 

After all of this, other things happen. A nice chase scene with only one car involved, Nazi submarines and more. The good stuff. A little humor in there too; which I love. There was a nice little bit where Rogers was chasing down a car using his Adonis-body-from-five-minutes-ago, and he is so unfamiliar with his new form he accidentally turns too hard and crashes into a building. Brilliant. 

Bla bla bla. More stuff happens. Captain America gets three costumes in this movie, all of which are either ridiculously hilarious or down-right badass. Though, to be fair, the second is really a composite of the first and some stolen military gear. 

Then some shields happen, and the rest of the movie spends 40% of the screen time with that damn thing in the screen. 

Then he gets a badass motorcycle that does some tricky-awesome things straight out of Twisted Metal.

Damn, I need to wrap this up. Uh.

Hydra was awesome. Instead of just being a straight parallel to the Nazi army, they are the super devious research and development branch of the Nazi regime that eventually spirals out of control. Their weapons are devastating  and everything has a nice blue neon trim. Though their salute is downright humorous. 

Then Captain America and his rag-tag group of mercinary-soldiers of fortune crash the party and look damn good doing it. However, this is all in montage. I guess the videogames can pick up that slack, but damn, I would have loved to see them crush even more Nazi heads. 
Also more shield. 

Then more character development, some credits roll, and you see pure Marvel magik.
I misspelled that correctly, yes. 

Here is my theory for why everyone loves this: Steve Rogers represents the typical, under-physically-developed fan who wishes they were as big and strong as their favorite heroes. Instead of going to the gym and working up to that stature, Rogers gets it within a span of five minutes. Who wouldn't want that? What a slacker. 

Here is a link to my quick and thorough review of the movie on youtube.
Hm, I probably should have posted this first.
Like, comment and subscribe. It grows the brand.
Also check out the twitterpage:!/HJT

Oh, also. Best character in the movie: A young and suave Howard Stark.
What a majestic stache.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Class is in attendance.

How could I possibly forget to make a review of X-Men: First Class?

Oh yeah, finals. That's why. So shut up.

If you don't want to read this, I have a video summary on my youtube page here. And here:

Basically, I enjoyed this movie. I laughed. I loved. I had one or two emotions throughout.
Michael Fassbender as Erik / Magneto was amazing. Paired with James McAvoy as Xavier, you have a winning combination  If only they were the only two characters in the film, then maybe things would have been more impressive  Sadly not.

The students/mutants they recruited were... interesting. Banshee was a must-have, so kudos to that. Havok? Clearly an allusion to Cyclops who was actually a member of the first class in the comics, but due to continuity they couldnt' have Cyc in the movie. (Even though they broke some continuity later on.)

Angel was also an original member; remember that winged dude in X3? Yeah, that was the original Angel. Instead they took a pixie-stripper and slapped the same name on her. Who would know, right?

Also, Mystique was hot. Not the blue-stique, but the actress who played the human disguise. Jennifer Lawrenece:

A lovely girl.

As for the rest of the movie, it was fun. It wasn't too serious, it wasn't even too good, but it felt pretty darn 60's and light hearted.

Also, the montages. Oooh, the montages. So fun. So good. Excellent cameo in there as well.

Anyway, I am drunk and must go get drunker. Go see the movie. See you next time when I talk about Green Lantern.

Though on a final note, why bother sticking to some continuity of you're going to kill more of it towards the end? Whatever. Fox can't make a movie like Marvel Studios can.

P.S., don't bother staying through the credits. Nothing to see at the end.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

The only thing left.

Seriously. I can't even tell count the number of times this has happened to me.
Left-handed people are the silently oppressed in this world. 

Friday, May 6, 2011

The God of Thunder.

I saw the midnight release of the Thor movie, which is now out in most theaters.

Long review short, I enjoyed it. I didn't fall in love with it like I did Ironman, and I didn't detest it. Perhaps I am biased. I am a superhero fan, and would most likely have a somewhat lower opinion if I was not.

Though, as I said, I enjoyed it. I was entertained. Ultimately that is the point of movies.
There was plenty of action, plenty of laughs, and enough special effects to make you say "whoa, what the shit" repeatedly. Although the camera movement was a little too fast for my taste, blurring out a good portion of the fight scenes.

Also eye candy. Mostly for the women, but still. They give you Natalie Portman, so stop complaining. Honestly, her acting could have been much worse. I guess that's a high point?
The movie throws you in at a comfortable starting point, and introduces the characters and backstory at a relative pace. You don't have to be a comic fan to understand what's going on, which is exactly what they were going for.

Then you get some cool fighting scenes, with giant face-lasers, a giant ice-themed Rancor and a bunch of blue people from Avatar.

[If you want to keep the movie a surprise, I would stop reading about here.]

After that some plot is thrown your way, and Thor is exiled to Earth (a.k.a Midgard). For a day. This is ridiculous to me; after a couple thousand years being Thor, the god of thunder who has had dozens of lifetimes to develop a concrete persona, he becomes a humble man and changes his outlook. It must have been something at that Denny's diner. Probably the pancakes. Or maybe Natalie Portman as Jane Foster is just that hot. (Hint: no.) He probably fell in love with the bars. I have no apathy for New Mexico. Not even people who live there are fond of it! So why would Thor?

Ultimately, if you have the $10 to shell out for a movie, I would say go for it. Did you seen Ironman? The sequel? Yes? Good. Then you will enjoy this, and you will most likely enjoy the upcoming Captain America movie.

Now that is what I am excited about.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Dangerously Scene.

Or maybe it's called Scout Crossing. I'm still not very sure on the title; it's not perfectly advertised.
Either way, this is a webcomic I just came across the other day. Created by Scott Fergus, the mastermind behind Nerf This and other works, I like to think of it as an alternative-trendy take on the Scott Pilgrim mythos. (Have we decided it has it's own mythos yet? Is there a council to decide that?)

I have always been an admirer of Fergus' art style, and I believe he has discovered the perfect culture to integrate it with.
The story began off a little confusing for me, but soon enough I filled in all of my holes of misunderstanding. It begins with the classic "hiding of the hero" and the typical "call to action" you children learned about in high school English class. Except when Scout is called into action, he begins to punch polar bears and make explosions with his sweet sleeve tattoos.
Yes, magical flower-bomb-tattoos are the source of his power. Which, frankly, is awesome.
I have never been a fan of ink myself, but after only a hour of reading this story I was seriously reconsidering my views.
There are also cute girls, music jokes and a murder mystery.
Stop reading what I'm typing and go read it for yourself. Page one is right here. Dangerously Scene updates once a week; twice if we all are lucky.
Is it just me, or does a female character like this appear in all of his works?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Return of The Venture Bros.

I love this show. 

It's brilliantly written, amazingly hilarious and is a polished parody about a past generation of animated series.
I remember when I was young, I would watch shows like the original Scooby-Doo and shows like Johnny Quest and the various Superhero shows.
Classic Cartoon Network, you know. They were more or less what my parents grew up on; or at least watched ironically.
Then my best friend shared this beauty of a show with me.
It was violent, cruel and held a sarcastic mirror up to that television history.
Mostly I stayed for the violence. Ultimately I fell in love with the theme of the show; failure.
The show is about what happens to our heroes of yesteryear when life throws them a hardball and beats them down. We've all been there.
Part of the original core of comedy is tragedy; we laugh when others fall. Comedy is pretty dark and sadistic if you think about it. At least the good humor is; mom-and-pop humor from the cold war isn't exactly entertaining any more, if it ever was.

I almost came when I heard The Venture Bros. was renewed for a new season.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Paging Dr. Deadpool....

Though it may seem like I'm a one-topic pony, this is actually a nice segway into my next post.
Remember when I discussed my love for the Dr. McNinja web comics?
Well it seems that my love for ninja-themed web action is getting eloped with my love of Marvel mercenary comics.
As a normal person would say, Chris Hastings of Dr. McNinja is going to write a story for Marvel's Deadpool!
It has to do with hammers. Get it? Hammer time. Yeah.
Personally, I can't wait. I'm ecstatic. Giddy. Hastings is an amazing writer, and perfectly captures the inexplainable mindset of these comics. The deranged humor, the impossible-yet-plausible plotline for stories like these, and the clever-yet-imaginative violence. Hastings is a professional at writing all three.
I don't care if you don't like comics, I don't care if you don't like me, but please. I beg of you. Give these a try. Spend the measly four dollars and buy the first comic when it comes out. Make the industry proud. Even if the market is swamped with Deadpool stories. (Didn't they recently cancel one? This seems counter productive.)
In case you can't tell, I happen to be a big Deadpool fan.

Did I mention that I once dressed up as Deadpool for Halloween?

Monday, March 7, 2011

One of my major obsessions...

I'm fanatical about them. The last time I checked, I have almost 100 different sites bookmarked. Granted, they all don't update daily. Though I still shuffle through a good couple dozen each day, reading them.
Sometimes it feels like an addiction. Sadly there's no rehab for this.
There is a long list of why I love this medium. They're free, hilarious, and independent. Mostly. 
From time to time I will talk about some of my favorites; most you may have heard of, most you may not have. 
This week is brought to you by: Dr. McNinja.

The series is written and drawn by Christopher Hastings, and colored by Anthony Clark. When I say series, I mean a damn good ongoing one.
I was drawn in during my high school days, and still read it through college.
Is it confusing? Yes. I love that.
Is it ridiculous? Yes. I love that even more.
Amazingly they leave no plot holes, and introduce some of the most ridiculous characters and media commentary I've ever seen.
If you had to start reading somewhere, try the newest story arch: Found here.
Everything is pretty much explained as it goes along.
Just learn to accept that a giant gorilla with a pet cat (with an eye-patch) is driving the car.
Just roll with it.
Did I mention that I once dressed as the good Doctor for Halloween?

What luck, to find a gorilla in high school.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

This was perhaps one of the most important choices of my video game career.
Not just in regards to my weird obsession with Pokémon as a child, but through my entire video game history. Probably because it was my first major decision in my first major game.
Bulbasaur, Squirtle or Charmander?
The Pokémon I picked decided the entirety of how I played the game, though I didn't know it at the time.
It decided how I would play the first  few hours of the game; grinding to fight Brock or breezing through him. It decided the makeup of my team; I would never need another fire, water or grass type if I wanted decent coverage. 
Since I had a brother who also played these games, my decision how I would play in contrast to him. We didn't want the same starter, so we had to come to some sort of agreement; when you're 10 that boils down to yelling and biting. 
This was so monumental because Pokémon was my first videogame that I played seriously. "How do you want to spend the next umpteenth hours in this game? We won't tell you anything about these little guys. Pick wisely." Part of the nostalgic magic of these games come from that thrill of your first serious, honest choice as a gamer. Never again will you get that first experience.
So who do you choose?
Squirtle forever.

(Also, if you find the original source of this art please tell me. I would like to accredit the artist.)

Friday, March 4, 2011

Nostalgia is super effective.

I'm all about nostalgia. The old games I played when I was a kid, the old shows I used to watch. Most of it still entices me to this day. Honestly, it's used more of an escape from my responsibilities than anything.
That's why I found this video pretty interesting. A friend sent it to me, and it speaks true.
Sometimes even your favorite hobbies can't block out the challenging things you find.
Also Pokémon is funny. All I use it for is procrastination.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

An origin story.

Well, I finally did it. I made my own blog.
Let's see how long I can keep this gravy train sailing.
To the three of you who will read this, welcome. I hope to keep you somewhat amused.
I will talk a lot about "geek" culture. Though that is hard to define.
Stay tuned. Soon I will post interesting whatevers.